One of the most popular questions I receive from woman all across the world, from different walks of life, is how do you overcome trust issues? These are women who want to love again but allow their trust issues to stand in their way.
In this blog entry, I’m going to share with you how trust issues no longer stand in my way of getting to know someone new. And as always, these tips are my truth experienced on my own personal journey.
5 Ways to Combat Trust Issues
1. Learn how to trust yourself…your judgement.
I had a trust issue as well. However, I decided to adjust my judgement in men. I took the time to learn what I want in a man and to learn who I am and what I was created to do. When you learn that about yourself, your judgement in men improve DRASTICALLY! Thus, allowing you to trust YOUR JUDGEMENT. You don’t necessarily need to trust a man in the beginning (I know it sounds crazy), but if you want to see what he has to offer you, you need to improve and trust your judgement. Because trust is earned…not granted at the time of meeting a person…you have to allow him time to prove himself instead of running him off before you get to know who he truly is. And if he isn’t what you want, be okay with that because you’ll be able to see that he isn’t before you give him your heart. I hope that makes sense.
2. Stop rushing to be in a relationship.
Let time tell you if he is a “quality guy” by just being his friend for a while. It’s okay to cross over to dating but before you get super excited about the idea of a relationship with any man, date without the titles a little longer. AND DON’T SLEEP WITH HIM!!!!! Time reveals all. In my personal experience, every man I’ve dated or gotten into a relationship with, showed me who he really was within the first 2 months of dating…which leads me to number 3.
3. STOP ignoring the signs.
Sometimes you put yourself in a situation that leads to no longer trusting men simply because you just keep right on IGNORING the signs that is screaming HE AIN’T THE ONE! If you see the signs and his flaws and all still doesn’t line up with what you truly want (assuming you don’t have a long crazy list), let him go. You want the perfect guy for YOU…not someone that will “just do.” He needs to get out of the way for your king!
4. Stop telling men everything you want in a man BUT teach them how to treat you.
I used to tell men what I wanted in a man every time one would ask. That lead to them trying to impress me and be somebody they were not. So, I wasted my time with men that wasn’t truly what I wanted because I helped them “pretend” to be the real thing. I ended up falling for them and ignoring signs while doing it. TIME WASTER. I got tired of that so I stopped telling them what I wanted. Instead, I told them to just be themselves and if we’re a good fit, we’ll see where it goes. Then I’d teach them how to treat me. Example: if they did something I didn’t like or said something offensive to me, I’d address it and see how they responded in that moment and took noticed of whether or not they changed it in the future. This way of doing it allowed me to see if a man had what I wanted in a man and it allowed me to teach him want I wanted. So, while he’s learning…he’s doing .
5. Pray before you get into any relationship.
Prayer is a POWERFUL tool for all areas in your life. That includes your love life. What you seek you will surely find. If you truly want to know a man’s heart before you invest your heart into him, pray and ask God to reveal his heart to you. Tried and tested. God will reveal that man’s heart to you. But, whether good or bad, you must believe it. Get up out your feelings if when what God reveal to you isn’t what you want and bust a move. I don’t stress myself worrying about where my man is and what he’s doing…is he going to hurt me…blah blah blah. I just go to my favorite tool and let God show me and I believe whatever He reveal. Kept me from a lot of heartache!
I hope you enjoyed reading my story! I hope that it empower, inspire, and motivate you. If you feel like this could help someone else be sure to share it.
P.S. If you haven’t gotten my latest book “What Single Women Should Want” you can get it here. Written for the single but the married love it. It is a must read!